Neopolitan
by Semi-chan
Summary: [Oneshot, Team 7] Of Chouji, misconceptions, and Neopolitan ice cream. Appearances are deceiving.


As part of the Rookie Nine, Chouji knew Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto well enough to say that Team 7 was like Neopolitan ice cream.

It was really obvious, Chouji thought. Sakura was the strawberry, Sasuke was the vanilla, and Naruto was the chocolate.

Sometimes Chouji wondered why Shikamaru didn't see it, but then Chouji told himself it was because Shikamaru didn't waste his time thinking about troublesome things like Team 7.

Once, Ino had asked why Team 7 was like Neopolitan ice cream. So Chouji has started to explain how Sakura was sweet and pink like the strawberry and how Sasuke was subtle and cold like the vanilla and how Naruto was obnoxious and everywhere like the chocolate, but Ino had already continued, saying that the Akimichis were the only family who thought about food enough to compare an ice cream with actual people.

So Chouji finished his Korean barbeque and didn't compare people with food anymore – as least, when Ino was around. When Chouji went home, though, he explained his theory to his family around the dinner table. Chouji's family didn't seem too interested in Team 7, and instead burst into discussion about the pros and cons of several different types of ice cream.

In apology, Chouji's mom gave him a scoop of Neopolitan ice cream on his pie slice for dessert. Chouji thought he got the better half of the deal.

* * *

The next afternoon, after training, Chouji sought out Team 7, who was still waiting for their sensei.

"Chouji?" Sakura was the first to notice he was there. Sakura smiled politely and asked, "What're you doing here? Don't you have training?" Chouji blinked. Did they even realize what time it was?

"Training ended a long time ago." Chouji answered, fishing in his pockets for a snack.

"Whaaaat!" Naruto was outraged. He flailed energetically, crying, "Kakashi-sensei isn't even here yet and the other genin are done with training! We're being left behind! Kakashi-sensei! Hurry up and get here!"

"Training _ended_ already!" Sakura was infuriated.

"Hnn." Sasuke sounded vaguely disapproving.

Chouji found a bag of salted potato chips and finished, "But Asuma-sensei had something to do today, so he let us out early." Sakura calmed down and smoothed her dress, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Oh."

"You coulda said that _before_!" Naruto blustered, squinty-eyed. Sasuke didn't say anything and took out a kunai. He examined it then threw it at a post expertly, deliberately missing Naruto's head by a scanty few inches. Naruto squawked loudly, "What'd you do that for, Sasuke-teme?" Sasuke smirked.

"Shut up, dobe." Chouji watched this, popping open his bag carefully, making sure none of the chips cracked, and wondered if this behavior was common among Team 7.

"Stop annoying Sasuke-kun, Naruto!" Sakura scolded, scowling prettily. Chouji thought that maybe Sakura practiced her facial expressions in the mirror like Ino, because the other girls in Academy hadn't scowled as nicely as Ino and Sakura did.

"Oi, oi, oi!" Naruto shouted, getting louder with every word. "I didn't do anything and Sasuke attacked me! You wanna start something, Sasuke? Wanna see the great Uzumaki Naruto beat your ass into the ground!"

But Sasuke was ignoring all of them and slouched alertly, apparently keeping watch for Team 7's missing sensei.

As if realizing how rude they were being, or perhaps following Sasuke's example, Sakura turned her attention back to Chouji and prodded gently, "Chouji, why are you here? Don't you and Shikamaru usually do something after training?"

"Oi! Don't ignore me! I'm gonna be the Hokage!" Naruto was getting red in the face.

Chouji decided if Naruto's team was ignoring him, this behavior was probably normal and could be disregarded. So Chouji told Sakura, "I came to tell you guys something."

"Oh? What?" Sakura looked politely interested.

"Really? Is it about a mission? Is it top secret?" Naruto leaned in close to Chouji's face and Chouji leaned away a little, trying to stop Naruto from getting too close to his chips. Naruto had apparently forgotten his anger and instead looked intensely interested. Sasuke straightened from his slouch and narrowed his eyes a little bit, listening to Chouji now. Sakura clenched a handful of her dress in each of her fists, looking determined, and stared at Chouji solemnly.

Chouji was a little unnerved. Nonetheless, he plowed onwards, only faltering once in the face of Team 7's focused gaze. "Uh… No, it's not about a mission," Chouji saw that he was beginning to lose his audience and hastened, "But it is important! It's about you guys."

Naruto puffed up at the implication that he had value and Sasuke finally turned to look at Chouji. Sakura, however, seemed to deflate a little in disappointment, but kept her eyes trained on Chouji's face.

"You see…" Chouji began hesitantly, "I think—" But Chouji was interrupted by a puff of teleportation smoke and a blithe "Yo!"

Instantaneously, Team 7 sprung into action. Sakura and Naruto proceeded to kick up a cloud of dust in their hurry to reprimand their errant sensei, while Sasuke leaped away and onto a post, escaping the small stampede that had resulted from Kakashi-sensei's arrival.

Sakura and Naruto bellowed in unison, "You're late!" at earsplitting levels that Chouji had previously thought out of the reach of mortal voices.

"You see," Kakashi-sensei drawled lazily, peering one-eyed at the four faces in front of him, two angered, one indifferent, and one puzzled. "I had to stop at the doctor's for my monthly check-up, but there was a mix up and I was actually sent to an Amazon whore house where the Amazons mistook me for another white-haired man and tried to assassinate me. While running away from the Amazons, I found an Amazon old lady who was also looking for my doctor, so I had to escort her back to the doctor's office. That's why I'm late."

Sakura and Naruto were gaping at Kakashi-sensei now.

"B-but, that doesn't even make sense!" Sakura cried, looking anguished.

"An Amazon whore house?" Naruto wondered, eyes wide and mouth open.

"That's not possible." Sasuke said flatly.

Chouji was speechless. What a… unique… sensei. That was possibly the longest excuse Chouji had ever heard. Kakashi-sensei was totally different from his own sensei, who didn't bother making up excuses when he was late, because Shikamaru always shot them down. Come to think of it, Shikamaru probably hadn't seen his Neopolitan theory because it was completely untrue.

Sakura, if she was anything like Ino – hidden ferocity, then probably wasn't just sweet and pink. Naruto was loud and was obnoxious and was absolutely everywhere, but he was other things too. He had dreams and he and Sakura both were more then they appeared to be. And Sasuke... Sasuke was certainly not subtle, telling by that display with the kunai. Cold? That he was, but wasn't all ice cream cold? Unless it melted, which you need heat for.

Chouji watched Team 7 bicker and shout, and decided to leave the metaphorical thinking to Shikamaru, who probably wouldn't want to think in metaphors, anyway.


End file.
